Driving

This past week, my attention and behavior has been focused on driving... I wish I could say I've been binging on The Cars this week, since it would be so poetic. That was last month. Instead I've been on a Men Without Hats kick (mostly while driving) ... I don't know a good driving segue there, except that wearing hats can cause accidents, at least the really big or dirty ones can ... especially with feathers or flowers that haven't been properly de-bugged. Did I ever tell the story about how a spider fell out of my brother's hat and into his lap while he was driving and he freaked out so hard he got into an accident?
See!   hats! 

I recently told a friend that he could "drive" at our next weekly coffee conversational encounter, since I feel I'm typically bringing up the conversational talking points, and doing most of the talking. He came prepared to do so, in a more instructional mien than I had envisioned, and I did a terrible job of keeping my hands off the wheel according to his perception of what I meant by driving.  Realizing my perceptual error toward the end, signaled by his mild frustration, I asked him to please try again next week ... my bad.

As such social creatures, we are by necessity co-dependent ... Just be careful that those you depend on are dependable, or better said, that your expectation meets their performance ability - i.e. their capability is within your expectations - while cutting the adequate slack we all deserve for not being perfect with each other.

My 'failure' with some of the people I care about is expecting them to be what they are incapable of being. And when I ask and expect of them what they cannot do and be, co-dependency ensues, and soon you are the one to blame for making them do what they did not want to do, or think what they did not want to think - you become the villain when you take their wheel begrudgingly (unasked for). Sometimes we step in to help the wrong way, by taking the wheel, instead of letting them maneuver through it themselves, and only offering guidance when requested.

Many people are active learners, or even self motivated learners, and learn better by doing rather than by watching you jump in and do it for them. Coercion only creates the backfire effect and this coupled with resentment ... even when you are certain that you are right, or feel more enlightened on the topic. If you persist in this you will be seen as egotistical and not open to other views or correction. And especially so when your views are unheeded (seen as necessarily wrong if they contradict the views of the other person). You will only appear as a negative influence against how they perceive what they WANT.

Most importantly, you must first be sure you can depend on your self - Honor The Promises you make to yourself and for yourself (goals), and after that, be there in the "right" way as is age appropriate for those who depend on you - especially your children - first.  If this post will bear a flying reference, I like the emergency air mask demonstration, where you are told to take care of yourself first, so that you may better take care of others around you.  If you are intact, no one can do you as well as you do you, and you can then do so much better with the ones you love. When you are enough for you, it doesn't really matter what others do. However, and here's the magic, you will be more than enough for every one you encounter, and equipped to bear and forbear ... and loaded for bears of any dimension (Cue- The Revenant).

Like in the story of Goldilocks, you will learn to measure yourself so that you are "Just Right" in the measure you meet upon them (the bears ... and little thieving golden haired girls). Just like our Goldilocks Sun which shines on our Goldilocks Planet, you will shine and grant life to others to live what they believe (at the moment) more fully, and in doing so make their own discoveries. We all enjoy a challenge. People, by their very nature, want to claim all (or most) of the glory (the wins) for their own lives, and blame all (or most) of their defeats (losses) on extenuating and external circumstances. Just talk to any sport's fan after a game and find that out. Losers typically blame the refs - the judges, the coaches, the quarterbacks recent injury, certain stupid (pivotal) plays made by others on "their" team.

As such, steer clear of being anyone's extenuation, or scape-goat ... even your own.  Everything that happens to you, you may not choose, but you do choose how to frame it retrospectively.

Feel free to frame yourself beautiful, and when necessary, frame with blame to claim yourself without shaming yourself ... and move on to a better picture of who you WANT to be, the ideal self you see every time you look in the mirror and examine the contents of your psyche, especially when putting appearances in the back seat (or if you really love them you can let them ride up front... just as long as they're not driving! Narcissists make bad life drivers, e.g. cutting people off, and getting ahead of the conversation.).

I am soon gone from social media, at least in my current form, IF my goal of extinguishing my coercive 'public' self can be realized (Coercive = trying to tell people how to think and be). Doing my own inventory I see that I cannot interact with certain others in my cloistered community (Utah, and the Religious Right in general) without sharing myself in a way that threatens who and what they are. And my interactions within this group of people and with this approach were not generally helpful. I think I was doing more harm than good.

An "epiphany in the parking lot" at a store that coincidentally carries the name of my Grandfather showed me the way ... now to be brave enough to follow it. I will continue posting my stuff here, since this is my cave and these are my walls, but my presence on social media will be reduced to hearts and kittens and shiny objects ... and maybe some cool science stuff. I will also keep a "Journal" of eventful things during my days that I want to store and remember.

Parking Lot Epiphany - If you tell people how to do and be you are taking away their choice of what they want (coercion), and inserting yourself in their path. If people follow you and "sacrifice" themselves for your ideas you are now complicit in their acts and tied to them, and when things go badly guess who gets the blame? People foremost want to be free to choose what they want. Let them choose without inflicting the guilt or shame of being wrong, or the necessity of choosing you or your ideas. In a world of a million acceptable choices and 7+ billion perceptions, people don't have to want what you want, or choose what you choose. Vive la différence! You are not their judge, nor jury. You are their friend. If you continue inserting your views into and onto their path you must now walk it with them when they try to do what you expect or ask of them against their true will or wishes, especially if you are doing it wrong and making it worse. Even when what they are doing is within their wishes, inserting yourself (your judgment) only makes you an accessory to be blamed when things go "wrong", and it feels like you are taking the wheel - when you do, you are robbing them of the joy they could have felt by doing it themselves, especially when the interloper is high on correction (Told Ya Sos) and low on support and encouragement. By placing your judgment on others you can sometimes implicate yourself in their outcomes, or fix yourself in the mirror of the judgment you pass (Matthew 7:1-3).

The problem with being someone's Guru is the expectation (theirs or yours) that you can fix them. You cannot fix someone who won't be fixed, and it's an ordeal sometimes even when they appear willing (just ask my coffee friend).  Also, the idea of being "fixed" usually comes across the mind of independent thinkers as being spayed or neutered. Which is an apt metaphor, since you remove their ability to create life - their life.

If you truly love someone you must have the strength to stand back and let them drive, and if you ride along, make yourself the perfect passenger ...without critical comment, correction, or care about where they are going, and how they choose to get there, as long as everyone is safe ... and as a parent you must have the strength to not allow your children to drive your car for the rest of their lives, or be driven by you.  At some point they must get their own car and learn to drive it and care for it themselves, and you must only love their vehicle (freedom), where they choose to go in it, and comfort them and encourage them (mostly with love, minimally with money) when they feel lost or defeated in dead ends. Otherwise you will create some nasty co-dependence which doesn't really work for either party.

You can be driven without driving others.

This is within my goal to live my life with grace, and graciousness - not spreading judgement or shame, as is so human. Before my religion became such a prominent issue in my life, when it all imploded, I was a very easy going person, who found ease and much delight in simply going with the flow ... and flow states are so awesome!

Besides, if Men Without Hats are to be believed, I Don't Want to be a Messiah, Messiahs Die Young

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8wZWyOaZrA

Cages

It's a rare bird upon being set free that can look back and realize the benefits of its cage, but instead of moving back in to the ease of it all, sets out with wings anew, striving to implement in its own way, while keeping the lessons of the master and time spent in the cage as it ventures out to be a master of its own.

This story of a rare bird is given here, illegally maybe, in its well deserved sanctuary - away from the commercialistic click-bait and the blight of opportunism.  I'd imagine this is just like the liver of the tale would want - giving fire to mere mortals freely and without strings, and this time keeping his liver. ;)

A Strange Cabin in the Woods

The forest was remote, masking its secret well. Indeed, Mark Andre, the Environmental Services Director of Arcata Community Forest in California, hadn’t explored the area for 30 years. When he finally did, though, he found hidden behind thickets and brambles an isolated, mysterious cabin.

The Forest Guild, a professional association of foresters, describes Arcata Community Forest as a “Model Forest.” Encompassing hills, ravines and nearly 800 acres of woodland, the forest is not only a popular recreational site, but also a self-sustaining enterprise generating up to $700,000 a year from sustainable logging.

But back to the story. In 2015 Andre traveled deep into the woods to tag trees for the annual timber harvest and found the cabin by chance. “I didn’t see it until I was 12 feet from it,” Andre told Mad River Union website. “It’s in the perfect out-of-the-way spot where it wouldn’t be detected.”

Situated close to the city of Arcata, the forest has long drawn its share of squatters. In fact, in the same year in which Andre found the cabin, the Arcata City Police and Environmental Services dismantled about 15 illegal camps in the forest. Even so, this cabin was different. Why? Because it was carefully constructed and sturdy enough to survive the seasons.

Camouflaged with branches and leaves, the plywood cabin had windows, a porch, and a peaked roof rising 15 feet. Furthermore, stationed on concrete blocks and covered with waterproof tarps, it measured 12 feet long by eight feet across.

Meanwhile, there was no garbage or waste, and there were no signs of environmental destruction. Whoever had built the cabin apparently had a high regard for the forest. Yet why had it been built in such an isolated location? And whom did it belong to?

Peering inside, Andre discovered a rustic, unoccupied-at-the-time but well-kept living area. Moving around, a compact kitchen featured a curtained window and a tranquil view of the forest. And, elsewhere, a wooden ladder led to an upper compartment with a cozy sleeping area.

The cabin housed a plethora of eclectic possessions, too. For instance, there was a rocking chair, a desk and a round stove with a chimney. And, indeed, there were fitted shelves together with an array of cans, bottles and glass jars stocked with spices, sauces and grains. But how long had this structure been standing?

Well, providing some indication, a scrawled list of “things to do and get” included items dating back to 2011. And it seems that the builder was very methodical in his or her work. Certainly, the list included items such as “build bench,” “extend brush wall,” “season cast iron” and “label jars.”

The occupant was more than a handy builder, however. An antique typewriter sat on a desk next to an oil lamp. And on the shelves were crumpled manuscripts, a dictionary, a book about public secrets, and field guides to local trees and medicinal plants. Whoever lived there seemed to be a deep thinker.

There were, though, few clues to the owner’s true identity, and yet the carefully constructed house and its sparse possessions suggested a mature and solitary individual with minimal needs and a well-honed sense of identity. Still, what had inspired him or her to construct such an offbeat enclave?

Perhaps we can turn to a man of letters for pointers. The famous American nature writer Henry Thoreau once wrote, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”

Cain and Able - A metaphor...or is it?

My answer?  

AI n Cable (See Who Made Who)  :P

Seriously, I've thought on this matter, and even though it could entirely be a metaphor toward brotherly love and against hostile aggression (most stories have an ulterior motive), I have a theory.

I suspect that this story really happened in an isolated community (tribe of people, maybe even earlier hominids), and it was so horrific that it was seared into a collective consciousness.  It also reeks of the pushes and pulls tied tot the transition of human societies from hunter gatherer structure to agricultural and domesticated life, where animals were kept and butchered and used, bringing our source of meat to a very up front and personal place (which the industrial age and large scale meat production has removed from our days as carnivores, just like the Jewish religion set itself up as the source of carnage).

 So here's my take on the story...

Cain and Able
We all know that Cain was a tender of grain - Cain, Grain, an easy mnemonic.  Likely, some time after we stopped our nomadic ways of hunter gathering, the production of grains became very important to a new agricultural society.  Yet we also know that most domesticated animals also became domesticated around the fertile crescent by early humans starting after this point in time when we started tending crops (Just as Able came shortly after Cain in the story).  In this society, and as omnivores who love meat, the raising and slaughter of animals, kept in close association with humans made meat and the slaughter of kept animals a thing which was much too close for some, especially those with a high degree of empathy for animals, which would obviously lead to the formation of deep bonds.

I think that Cain stuck to grain because he was simply unable to deal with the slaughter of things he loved so deeply. I think Cain was largely a vegetarian, given the situation of his surroundings. I think he became an opponent of the slaughter and the rituals meant to justify it within his society.
Religion is usually simply an excuse to do things a culture wants to justify and do.

Although seen as sacrilege, I think he sincerely put his grain on the alter to show the people that they could offer something else instead of dead animals and still keep their sacred rituals.  But the people would not have it - they wanted blood, they wanted the meat, just like many hooked on fast food today, so soaked in animal based calories. Cain's action defied and threatened the security of things being as they always were.  Like threatening your meat lover's pizza, or right to pile the meat and cheese high on your burger, the placing of plant based nutrition on the alter, to be blessed for human consumption challenged a sacred paradigm.  It defied the logic of obtaining God's approval and sanctification in the "sacrifice" of another sentient life, slaughtered and prepared to nourish the people - it mocked the cult of blood. It mocked a mechanism of meat production and dispersal among the early Jewish people.

These humans loved their ritual sanctifying the slaughter of animals for "clean" consumption. Like marauding chimps whose primary primate purpose of incursion into another troop is to kill and eat the flesh of their young ones, the rituals were meant to give killing the sanction of their god.

Cain's placing grain on the sacrificial alter was likely a huge blasphemy at the time. In the story, the Lord (likely Adam) rejects his offering and then proceeds to lecture him about doing the right thing.

Able, on the other hand, was a popular and prominent person in the group.  He was able to raise the animals for kill (sacrifice), and eating without much of the act making inroads to his conscience. His position and the esteem it gave him facilitated that - he was giving the people what they wanted, and they exalted him above Cain for that. Cain was the firstborn. I'm sure knowing birth order dynamics (especially with the Jews - this IS a Jewish story) that this went over like a lead balloon, and was a huge slight. Cain's offerings were out of favor, and Able's were much in favor.  I'm sure Cain could see where this one way train was going. He couldn't win against such societal forces.

At a certain point (the story jumps right into it), no longer able to take it anymore - it being the killing of things he loved so dearly - Cain was at a tipping point.  Who knows what it was that tipped him, but this story, the story of how our food is made and provided, is a recipe for conflict, and ripe with the justification of dire deeds, and giving the people what they want.  As the story goes Cain invited Able into his fields and killed him.  How or with what we do not know since the text simply says he attacked and killed him.

In medieval imagery and texts, Cain is frequently portrayed as beating Abel with the jawbone of an ass (This however may be a confabulation with Sampson - a glorified psychopath of aggression and murder - ironic - eh?  Purposeful libel to paint Cain as a debauched murderer by association? Maybe).

Did Cain premeditate this?  I propose, that he did not.  I think it was a crime of passion, of rage and violence.  I suspect an argument took place in the field that day. Cain, as an older brother, may have been trying to persuade his younger brother to stop killing the animals, to walk away from all the blood and take up work in the fields with him.

At some point in the conflict I think words became escalated and fists began to fly. Killing Able with the jawbone of an ass would certainly be poetic justice, even more-so if that ass was one of Cains close pets (workmates) that was sacrificed as it got older and unable to pull a plow.  Maybe this was the source of Cain's angst against a system so steeped in blood and murder.

The Jewish community, so shocked and horrified by this "first" homicide among the children of Adam and Eve (I highly doubt that, but well keep rolling), Able became an outcast, cursed to wander the land, and was given a mark they say.  He traveled Eastward to the land of Nod.

Again, knowing a little bit about anthropology, the story gets the evolution of dark skin backwards. And from that I propose that the mark of Cain was actually whiteness - maybe an extreme case of vitiligo.  We know that white skin is a mutation, and isn't it wonderfully ironic that we've reversed that, and created this lie of white or fair skinned people as the original race?

If so, white people are the true descendants of Cain - but the shock and horror of that with this far spread horrific story of the villain may have caused them, these fair abberations to flip the script over time.

From Anthropology, given the climate of our early hominid ancestors, we know that were all originally black, or very dark skinned, and much more hairy. Humans became white as we moved northward into winter climes which necessitated covering up - piling on clothing to survive, to which our bodies responded by removing melanin to survive that condition. The lightening of the skin is the survival response of the skin trying to maximize the production of vitamin D as more and more surface area is covered, and the days are shorter (sunlight exposure is lessened).

At any rate, it could just as easily be that this is the crux of the story regarding Cain and his perspective and motivations.  I certainly think he got a bad rap, as well as all of those people we've used this story against to vilify them.

According to the story, god (i.e. the Lord - who I think is actually Adam in the story) forgave Cain and sent him away - most likely because he knew in their tit-for-tat culture (eye for an eye), that he would be murdered too - and that this murder would only implicate someone else in the story for acting too harshly, for responding in an over the top type of vengeance that we are so good at doing as apes as we increase insult upon each other, while still thinking we are acting tit-for-tat, according to the justice of our perceived wrongs, those perpetrated always mentally ameliorated in the light of those suffered.

The story about humanity and the punishment we should hand out is shown by the love of a parent for their child. In every act of justice we should remember that relationship most. Treating others as we would treat our own child may be a tall order, but in my opinion, a better ruler of measure than "treating others as I would like to be treated", since most adults can handle a lot of shit from others, and very harsh conversations, even hearing and saying things that would crush tender hearts - In conversations as these, it is quite easy to identify those who are still stuck in their child-like emotions and need for polite and gentle conversations - conversations that are not too challenging to their concept of self ...

The moral here by twisting or reinterpreting this famous story is, "Don't judge a story by its teller." - the tellers are usually heavily biased, and have a dog in the fight.  We are lying apes at heart.  We are apes who punish, and do so severely at times. I offer this version, if only to show that there is always two sides to every story.

Long live Cain and his love for all of Life! Long live Able, and the karma of just desserts. I wonder what he came back as .... Maybe Balaam's Ass? :P

And why's that Able bodied boy so skinny and anemic? - I thought his diet was supposed to put meat on yer bones!

#PlantBasedDiet

Tits Tats and Biting Cats

I recently had a profound experience that I thought might be fun to share.  Admittedly from the outset I should throw the disclaimer that I'm currently in a manic state (but well under control).

The very night after the exchange above on FaceBook (July 4th), I was house sitting for friends and upon the time to turn in to a strange bed in a strange house I realized that I was still wearing my swim trunks and had forgotten to bring undershorts.  Knowing how poorly I sleep in my swimsuit I was facing a dilemma - sleep in my swimsuit or sleep without it ... either was an uncomfortable proposition.  Finally a light bulb went off and I realized that I had a pair of undershorts inside my gym bag in the trunk of my car, So I went outside to get them.  As I left the house, gladly greeted by a very light sprinkling of rain, I heard even better the explosions going off, and saw some of their beautiful sources. After acquiring my underwear I decided to go for a little stroll around the neighborhood in my bare feet, since I enjoy this kind of rain so much, and was drawn by the fireworks.  At one point I found a great place to sit, on a curb, by someone's garbage cans out for the morning pick-up.  As I sat alone in the darkness enjoying it all, a cat came out from under a nearby car, and it approached me as I noticed it and made contact.  It was a young cat, probably a boy, and very soft and affectionate (although a little timid) with beautiful tabby colorations.  It mostly wanted to be petted and comforted as it licked the hello out of my knee. I was glad to oblige, and realized the licking I was getting from a cat's perspective. Very shortly a larger cat emerged, older, and female. It was not as forward in its affections, but still came over to me and sought interaction.  Its fur was a simple grey and black tabby coat and much more coarse than the younger cat, much like its personality. It did not trust me as much, and she even bit me a few times as I tried to pet and comfort her.  It felt like a holy communion with these two creatures as they both tried to find a port in a storm. I had said earlier that day much about being willing and able to be anyone's port in a storm, and here was the universe giving me that opportunity. Such a sweet and beautiful moment - words cannot express.  These cats seemed wild.  I know they were disturbed. I realize these cats may have been someone's pets, in an extremely agitated state due to the fireworks. But whatever their state, it meant a lot to me that they would both seek me out to help them cope and feel better about their currently crazy world. As one did, the other was able to follow - lead by a relative child (maybe even her own).

When you truly have empathy for another consciousness the dividing line between your self and their self vanishes... and it can be a glorious experience - Ohbe Ron-Ken Obi.